Still feeling down after Friday’s result, you know. It’s so frustrating because the basking in the glow of victory normally only lasts for a couple of days before you get in to starting to worry ahead of the next game. But that poor performance on Friday still has me reeling and as I said on the Same old Arsenal show last night, when this season is finished and we look back, I think we will reflect more on that West Ham and Southampton performances and our failure to pick up all three points in both, as one of the biggest reasons we fell short in the league.

Because this is where I am at right now. I am really struggling to make a case for us lifting this title. Wednesday night will probably seal the deal, unfortunately, but it is just frustrating that we didn’t make our position at least strong by doing what we needed to do against teams that are not very good. If we’d have gone in to this game on Wednesday night nine points clear of City then all of the questions will be on them. As it stands they now know that they have a buffer. They can afford to beat us and then probably lose or draw a couple of games and they’d still probably be champions. We have thrown away our buffer and our ability to lay the pressure squarely on them because of that draw at home to Southampton.

Which is why I am feeling so down. In the last year I’ve felt this down at home to City and away to Newcastle last season. Those were big blows and these dropped points have hit me hard. And it is mad to think your team can be top of the league by five points and you still feel like you’ve blown it as a fan. I mean we all know it is because of what we are up against; the financially doped club with over 100 charges of essentially cheating, who have made winning the Premier League title a near perfect situation that any team has to find themselves in.

But I am still reeling about Friday, even though we have a game on Wednesday. Maybe it is because I can’t see us picking up anything on Wednesday and maybe it is because I am trying my own version of self preservation. Prepare your self for the worst and when it happens, it won’t be as much of a shock. It will still make me sad, I will still feel down at the end of it when it is confirmed, but in my head it is like trying to make yourself more hardy to the pain. Preparing your mind for it. A bit like if you eat enough spicy food, you become more tolerant of it. In my completely warped football fans brain, if I keep my mind on that feeling of disappointment then when it actually happens I’ll feel less disappointed.

I can’t even laugh at The Scum who, let’s be honest, appear to be spiralling in to a world of doom after yet another shoddy display up at St James’ Park. That has become a very difficult place to go and with the way we have been conceding goals of late, I don’t want to go in too hard on those muppets from up the road to us; we have Newcastle in a couple of weeks and if they are riding high following more wins at home, they’ll be even more difficult to beat. And because of our sloppy performances in recent weeks we are looking less like the team that is going to go anywhere away and pick up points, and more like the team who mentally are starting to wilt a little bit.

That’s another offshoot worry I have from any defeat on Wednesday; the knock on effects to this team and their confidence levels. We’ve played with a swagger all season but complacency and perhaps a touch of arrogance (certainly against West Ham) crept in and that has cost us points which I think will have dented our confidence and swagger. You could just see the reaction of the players on Friday night; they were on their haunches, they knew they had blown another chance and I worry mentally what defeat will do. They will most likely go in to Wednesday night’s game with a belief and a hope that they can get something from it, but if the worst happens – which is probably more likely than not – then I really fear for the rest of the season and the games we have coming up. City have a nice easy procession to the end of the season with their fixtures. The two that I would call challenging – Brighton and Brentford – have been pushed right to the back, so they can rack up comfortable wins against Leeds, West Ham and Fulham and build on their already fantastic momentum. We are going to have to struggle and fight for every ball against good teams who have something to play for. Well, except for the likes of Chelsea, although they still have good players who can hurt us, even if they look like a car crash right now.

Linked to this – and also something I have been thinking of lately – is that with us it has felt like we’ve had so many more emotional rollercoaster games than City. There have been so many more moments in which last minute excitement, or comebacks, have been a feature of our season. We’ve been riding on adrenaline so much this season, but it feels like City have just been ticking along. They just do their thing, win game after game with what feels like little fuss, whilst we have had to strain every sinew to try to keep ourselves up there at the top. If there’s one thing I’d probably say we need to take a lesson from for future seasons, it is that we need to get better at delivering those boring, robotic, soulless wins in which we’re comfortable and just see games out. A bit like we did against Fulham away a couple of months back. That’s what City do well and that is the next step for this young Arsenal team I think.

Anyway, going to leave it there for today, because I’ve got a long day of work ahead and I need to crack on. Have yourselves a good one.