Alright? 

Yesterday evening I got home from work and flicked on Sky Sports News as I was doing some cooking. Thai red curry with jasmine rice, since you asked.

No sooner had the TV fired up when the announcer proclaimed some ‘big news’ for Arsenal fans. 

Ohh, I wonder what’s happened today? Maybe an incoming? Or an outgoing?

I hadn’t checked my social feeds or online on the tube journey home, given that Game of Thrones was the days ‘top pick’ for me on the Met Line back, so I stopped and suddenly became intrigued.

“Alexis Sanchez has returned to London and has been pictured in training today” came the words from the Sky presenters mouth.

I’m sorry, what? You promised me news, not a Homer Simpsonesque ‘Everything’s ok’ alarm, so where’s the actual Arsenal news.

Then it dawned on me that they didn’t have anything new. They were doing what they’ve been doing for some time now, which is bringing clickbait visual, by talking up non-stories. They really were adding a fair bit of lace to the window dressing of that story and it just left me more pissed off with Sky than anything else.

Of course Alexis returned to training. Everyone in the world knows that he lives his life for football and even if he was injured he’d still probably find a way to knock a ball around. He’s not the sort of player to go on strike and most Arsenal fans have been saying this all summer, so why are Sky Sports trying to make the most out of it?

I know the answer of course, which is that they have to try to drum up some interest on a day where not a lot else interesting was happening, but it still doesn’t stop my gears from being ground.

It also gave me the realisation that actually I could have probably have got better and more informed information from other sources. Sky Sports News is no longer the ‘go to’ place as it used to be. It used to be the first thing I’d switch on when I get home; now it’s an after thought if I can’t find an episode of The Simpsons on TV to play in the background whilst I’m cooking. It’s the same with TalkSh*te, in that I rarely listen to it any more because they’re as bad as Sky.

Instead I get my information from this little rectangular machine I’m tapping away at right now, and the information I find is often more interesting, more informed, more likely to teach me something and also a lot more accessible.

The (media) king is dead, long live the (new media) king. Sky and Talksh*te are as relevant and useful as a Scaramucci White House tenure.

As for the other rumours of the day, we’ll, it isn’t exactly anything groundbreaking, with more rumours of a third bid for Lemar and a ‘weighing up’ on Seri apparently. There is literally nothing more I can say about these players that I haven’t said before, except that Seri is so small Arsenal could probably save a few quid on flying him over to England by putting him in a child’s seat. Or perhaps they could just sneak him out of Nice in Dick Law’s jacket pocket? 

Maybe we don’t even need him though? After all, Jack’s back in training…

Anyway, that’s enough jibber-jabber from this here narrator. Catch you all tomorrow.