Last night I was making Nang Ya, which is a Thai dish, and I accidentally stabbed myself with a sharp blade. It was a tiny cut that would barely even be classed as a scratch, but I woke up this morning and my middle finger on my left hand is stinging a bit.
I tell you this information because I honestly believe that the international breaks during a season are more painful for me. They are more painful than actual, physical pain. If I had a magic karma fairy that said I had to go through that exact same self stabby process every night for two weeks and she would wave her karma wand and make the international break magically disappear to be replaced by continuous highlights of Ian Wright and Thierry Henry goals, it would be worth it. I would sacrifice my own hands for you good people. No, don’t thank me yet, the fairy hasn’t come to call. Perhaps she’s in her fairy parlour (or wherever the bloody hell it is fairies live) with her eyes closed, fingers in her ears, pretending the international break doesn’t exist either. Part time magic Karma fairies and their ‘equal treatment for fairies and double time on a weekend and selected weeknights’ movement. I tell you, the worlds going to he’ll in a hand basket.
International breaks are tedious when all you want to do is talk all things Arsenal. I mean, there’s stuff on the official site about how Santi kisses the tattoo of his son every time he scores, but that’s pretty much it. It’s a lovely gesture of devotion to his offspring, who I’m sure is very young and when old enough to talk will find it amazing, but I’m a little more concerned for the lad/girls future if I’m honest. Unless Cazorla is going to get it removed after a few years, or unless its a Henna tattoo that he gets re-painted every week, imagine the embarrassment of the child when he/she reaches 16 -18 and your dad has a picture of you on your arm. Firstly, it will look nothing like you (unless he slowly ages the tattoo as the child ages. Only works if Santi has gone for the Henna option though. I can’t imagine a permanent one can be altered that much, can it?). Secondly, your mates would cane you good and proper, “oooh Cazorla, has your dad kissed your face yet?” and “does that mean that technically you see your mum and dad having sex?”and of course the every so intellectual “err, gay” responses from other little children. It’s a schoolboy ribbing of monumentous proportions. And imagine when Cazorla gets to his fifties and its all gone a little green/grey and is browned by the inevitable sun he’ll get when back to Spain permanently (he’s a very family orientated man, so I’m putting two and two together here). Imagine having to greet your pa with a hug and as he puts his arms around you there’s an image of your younger self looking like an extra from Mars Attacks! slapping you on the back. No thank ye kindly sir!
Perhaps I think too much. But the thing is, when the only other pieces of news are the club saying “no, really, Jack is going to be injured the same amount of time as we told you a week ago”, you can tell there isn’t exactly any scoops going on at London Colney. And I’m not even going to get started on ‘Cech to Arsenal’ rubbish. Unless its that midfielder that didn’t get into the West Brom team. Then I’d believe it. After all, Arsene did head down Amaury Bischoff Lane, and we all know that it worked out to be a complete dead end.
So what else is there to tell you? What else can be discussed hypothesised and debated Arsenal related? How about Tomas Rosicky telling assembled media that he respects Arsene’s decision not to play him more and wants to play more in before the end of the season?
No, me either.
Until tomorrow then. Strength in unity guys, we can get through this.