Hello to you and hello to Tuesday. Yesterday a few players returned to training and one of them was ‘wantaway’ captain Robin van Persie. Apparently a club spokesman told the Sun that there were plans to sit down and talk with Robin shortly to resolve the situation one way or another. So we have plans about talking about plans now?

The Arsenal online community is massive. Hundreds of thousands of us deep and as wide as the eye can see. It’s also a global support base. So when yesterday I asked why on earth the media were all reporting about Robin’s return to training, I guess I kind of already knew the answer: it’s about click throughs and site visits. Why else? And that is the very reason why all media outlets are so keen to have this saga drag out as long as possible. For example, I don’t recall that many column inches being dedicated to Modric and his proposed move to Real Madrid. Yes, it is being reported, but you’re not seeing the depth of detail that we’ve seen with RvP.

I’m getting sick of it all to be honest. I just want the season to start now and the window to slam shut at the end of July. Because you know that this is going to spill out into August and the start of the season, don’t you? Well for me the answer is clear and drastic action is needed which should include:
1) Arsenal placing a massive sign above the Emirates that lights up at night saying: For Sale: one duty striker, slight used, full injury service history, two main previous owners. Overseas customers only
2) get one of those flying planes with the banner messages behind them to fly that message over Turin, Milan and Barcelona. Add in “DNA included” to the latter
3) Strip the man of the captaincy. A captain must command commitment from his troops, and that only comes from commitment himself
4) Send a signed picture of Robin to Mancini and Ferguson with a coverslip reading “compliments of Arsenal, because this is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to his signature”
5) use the money recouped to buy a strong defensive midfielder.

Simples I know. Well, actually we know it isn’t that simples, but I just want this over. Part of me is getting to the stage where I don’t even want RvP to stay.

Before I knock off for the day I’ve got one more rant and then I’ll leave you lovely people alone: for the love of Odin please please please, if you are reading this and you are somebody that has set up a footballers Twitter account, cease and desist immediately. If you really crave attention that much, go and do some community theatre, where your acting talents can be properly nurtured and appreciated and bring joy to people. Setting up a Twitter account and pretending to be a footballer linked with Arsenal just so you can get a few retweets and replies from people you don’t know and will never meet (because they think their talking to a footballer, not a bald guy from Ruislip) is beyond sad. I am of course referring to yesterday’s messages that came from a fake Yann M’Villa Twitter profile. The person in question did eventually say that it was a parody account and not real, but by then the damage was done and he/she had got the attention they wanted. Here’s a clue bub: Parody accounts have to be funny to work. Ergo, you have to be funny in order for people to pay you attention. This particular person was neither funny, nor interesting, only choosing to announce that the account was a parody account AFTER they had been called out and rightly abused from the Twittersphere. It’s funny how the word ‘parody’ becomes a get out of jail free card for people when they know they’ve been found out.

Peace out.